Anyway, not only is Oles driving the wrong way, he's talking on his cell phone and yelling at all the other drivers who are driving towards us! He's actually telling them (I think) "GO AROUND US," at least that's what his gestures implied. Although Oles had his window part way down, not one driver told him, "You, young man, are dangerously driving the wrong way on a one way street!" Not one! Of course, I tried to be helpful by pointing to the DO NOT ENTER - ONE WAY sign, but Oles brushed me off.
Thankfully, Oles tried to reassure me about his driving by pointing out that he's only been in SIX accidents - at least those are the ones he can remember. He's only 30... Clearly, he says, he was not at fault for "most" of the accidents. Oh, I shouldn't neglect to mention that he was stopped three times - not one, not two, but three times - for speeding today. Lucky for Oles, he "bribed" all the police officers (for about 400 grivnas - exchange rate of 7.5 grivnas for one US dollar) and got no tickets. Three tickets in Ukraine and you lose your license for a year and have to pay a mega fine. After the second stop, I once again tried to be helpful as I shrieked, I mean, commented that "maybe God is trying to tell you to SLOW DOWN!" So then we got an insightful lesson on my psychotic fear of driving too fast and smashing my brains into a tree or rolling down a steep, snowy ravine into an ice covered lake. Silly me, Martha, you just need to face these irrational fears! Oles has an interesting philosophy about life and death: When God says our time is up, it doesn't matter if we're sleeping in our beds or racing along at 100 MPH on an icy road... driving on the spare tire... with only high beams... while talking on a cell phone. He FINALLY admitted, after six long hours of driving on treacherous roads, that it was the "bad vibrations" emanating from MY body towards the police officers that caused them to pull him over! Hahahahahahahahaha... (punk). He suggested that maybe Jay should ride in the front seat from now on since he has not yet been pulled over whenever Jay is in front - he must have forgotten that I practically begged Jay to ride up front on our return trip from Balta. But no, Jay was safely in the back seat with a smug look on his face while I faced mortal danger in the front seat. Jay actually believes Oles is a "pretty good" driver. Maybe it really is an irrational psychotic fear I have: Olesdriveaphobia.
On the bright side, Oles was in a very good mood when we returned to Odessa and decided God was just trying to teach him about obedience (See Romans 13). He didn't even run any red lights tonight as he has done before, Praise God! It was all I could do to keep from throwing myself on the ground and kissing the dirt when we arrived back at our apt. Hey, maybe we won't need to go to Balta anymore... Maybe we'll have our court date soon... Maybe I'll die in my sleep... Once again, pray for us! All kidding aside, Oles has been a great facilitator and he has made this journey lots of fun. I'll tell you some other time his philosophy about women. Love to you all, Martha