I Never Had a Daddy Before

This morning Karina went to the doctor.

Before leaving she told us that she did not like doctors but we told her that she would like her new doctor.  He is not just a great doctor... he is a good friend.

When she returned she said, 

"I like doctor!  He's nice... he's silly... just like you!"

Pediatrician done... coming up she has to visit the eye doctor and the dentist.

This afternoon we were blessed to spend some time with the Fumia family.  They are adopting a boy from Karina's class.  He is a great boy that we grew to love while we were in Odessa.  You can follow their story at fumia.blogspot.com.  Please pray for them as they prepare to get their son and still need about $15,000.  Please pray that God will provide the money they need.

This morning Karina spent several hours with Sheila talking about many things.  During the conversation she said something that brought tears to my eyes when Sheila shared it with me...

  "I want the man I marry to be just like my daddy."

This evening she wanted to talk to me about boys.  She asked several questions...

"Will you pick out boy for me to marry one day?"

"If I like boy, will you like him, too?"

"If boy wants to like me, what will you do?"

Later on she asked many more questions regarding what I think is good or bad... what I will let her do or not do... what I like to do and do not like to do... how I want her to act in certain situations... the subjects ranged from eating... to exercise... to music... back to boys... to God... and church... and how God wants us to live... the Bible...

She was so eager and enthusiastic to understand what I wanted for her, what I expect of her, what I hope for her... what I pray for her.

When we were done she smiled and said...

"This is good...

You know...

I never had a daddy before."

One Regret

Fifteen minutes from now marks three weeks since our plane touched down in Jackson with our Ukrainian daughter.

The past three weeks have been full.

Full of firsts for Karina... and for us as parents of a teenage daughter... from another country... who does not really speak our language... who has never really had parents.

Full of trying new things... Karina tried peanut butter today... and liked it... we have tried her Ukrainian salads... and liked them.

Full of language learning... Karina has finished level one of Rosetta Stone English with a score of 100%... and let's not really talk about how far I am in my Russian studies.

Full of laughs and silliness... Karina has told us many times... "You are so silly!"... she has brought us much joy.

Full of meeting new people... Karina said she needs a book with pictures and names of all the people she has met.

Full of trips to Wal-Mart... Karina loves these trips to Wal-Mart... with our four biological children, once we had the first, many things just passed on down to the others... but when you arrive as the first teenager in a home... with nothing but the clothes on your back and a purse... Wal-Mart comes in handy.

Full of prayer... for wisdom from God... and much more.

Full of teaching... Sheila is a great teacher to all five of our children... not just school work... how to clean the house... how to cook... how to relate to parents... how things work around the house... how to relate to brothers and sister... how to....

Full of love... from us to her... from her to us... love of siblings... love of family... love of relatives... love of the body of Christ... love of friends... love of those who have been supporting us and praying for us... love of those that helped make this adoption possible... love of Christ.

Full of attempting to communicate... "How do you say this?"... "I do not know how to say this."... using many hand signals and gestures... flipping through the English-Russian dictionary... drawing... it is really amazing how many tools can be used to communicate.

Full of catching up on many things and with many people.

Full of catching up on Karina's life... we sense an urgency in her to know us and learn from us... after 13 years of life she is finally learning what it means to belong to a family and love one another and learn from one another and serve one another.

Full of amazing wonder at the work God is doing.

Yes, the past three weeks have been full.

Full.

As we look back on the past several months and as we ponder where God has brought us and what he is doing... we do have one regret.

Do we regret the months and months where almost all of our time outside of work was spent on the adoption process?

No.

Do we regret spending five weeks away from our biological children... in a foreign land?

No.

Do we regret emptying out our savings?

No. 

Do we regret having to make the changes we needed to make to add a teenage daughter to our family?

No.

Do we regret doing something that causes some people to call us "that weird family" or "crazy" or "unwise" and say things like... actually, never mind... those things are not worth repeating.

No.

We have only one regret...

We regret that we did not hear the cry of the orphan before now... that we made excuses in the past as to why we could not care for those that God cares for.

We pray that we will not miss out on the fullness God has in store for us in the future.

It's My Favorite Cookie!

How amazing it is to see God provide.

He does it his way... not ours.

When we started this adoption process we knew one thing for sure:  we knew God wanted us to adopt Karina.

How?

Now that is the question that only God could answer.  We did not know what he had in store.

We had always heard that international adoptions cost a lot of money and when we did the math we realized... yep... they do cost a lot of money.

We looked at the amount of money...

And we looked at our bank account.

Glanced over at the amount of money...

And glanced back at our bank account.

Laughed a little bit.

Maybe we cried a little bit inside.

Humanly speaking, there was absolutely no way.

We had no money.

Well, actually we had just enough money to take the first step... get the home study started.

So, we ignored the math and trusted that God would provide and began the home study.

Our bank account was quickly emptied... all we had saved was quickly emptied.

I thought I had a brilliant plan:  "Let's apply for some adoption grants from those organizations that want to help people adopt and let's take out one of those no interest loans for adoptions."

We looked at several different ones...

not qualified for this one...

nope, not that one...

not available in Ukraine...

not for independent adoptions....

nope.... nope.... nope.....

Finally we found one that we qualified for and filled out the lengthy application...

and we waited....

and waited....

and waited....

after the alloted time the website said to wait I sent an email:

"The allotted time has passed... we have not heard anything... when do you think we will know if we will get the no interest loan?"

Silence.

Hmmm.

What is God doing?

Exploring other options to make money.

Praying a lot.

Wait a few more weeks.

Contact organization again, "We applied a long time ago... have not heard... we leave soon... etc."

We finally hear back!!!

"Ummm, we lost your application.  We received it... we had it... but we lost it.... just found it... today.

So... we have your application... we will look at it and get back to you... oh, and we do not have any money for the loans."

We never heard back.

We never heard back because God's plan was better than ours.

You see, God decided that he would use a four year old boy to help provide the money we needed for the adoption.

In earlier blogs you may remember Anderson.

God wanted to teach us that he does not need us or our ideas or our plans.  He was going to do this his way.

I thought I would take out loans and apply for grants to get the money for the adoption.

God decided to use a four year old boy that had no money to provide a way for us to get what was needed.

Anderson told his mommy,

"Let's give them money to adopt Karina."

His mommy said,

"We do not have money to give them."

Anderson said, 

"Let's make cookies!"

And so it began.

Anderson and his family prayed, baked cookies and began talking.  They told everyone about Karina.  They told their friends, neighbors, church, co-workers, students, the local radio station, relatives... maybe everyone they met.

Because of this family people began buying cookies...

and then we had a bake sale...

and then people started giving...

and then an adoption fund was set up...

and more people began giving to the adoption fund...

and more people began praying... and encouraging us... and supporting us.... 

and then we went to Ukraine and brought Karina home.

God's way was better than our way.  It was more fun, too.

Many, many people prayed and gave to help with this adoption but it got started when a four year old began to pray.

Yesterday Anderson met Karina for the first time.

He walked in the door and said,

"Hi Karina.  My name is Anderson.  I have been praying for you.  Can I have a hug?"

Anderson and his two sisters, mom and grandmommy all came to see Karina.  She loved getting to see them.  He brought her pictures.  Karina drew a picture of him and gave it to him.  They visited for a few hours, ate lunch together, painted pictures and played.

After Anderson's family left, Karina saw a bag of cookies on the counter.

They were Karina Cookies:

The type of cookie that Anderson sold to hundreds of people.

Karina took a bite... and then another... she ate one cookie... and then she bit into another... she finished two cookies and said,

"Wow! It's my favorite cookie!"

July 8

Karina has seen what happens to people that celebrate birthday's in Mexican restaurants... the sombrero... the singing... the whip cream in the face.
Last night she told us that she did not want to go to a Mexican restaurant on her birthday.
We told her that her birthday is a big day and we needed to celebrate big!

She looked at us and said,
"My birthday is not a big day.... July 8 is a big day."

"July 8? Why is July 8 a big day?" I asked.

"July 8 was the day you asked if I wanted to be adopted by you. July 8 is my big day."

"I Do Not Envy You."

Sheila and Karina had gone ahead in to Walmart to find some clothes for Karina.  I gathered the other four and we began walking towards the entrance when a woman passed us, looked at the five of us and said, "I do not envy you."

I told her there were two more members of our family already inside.  She shook her head and continued on her way.

I do not get the comments as much as Sheila does from people we meet in WalMart referring to our family... "How do stay sane?"... "Do you know what causes that?"... "I would not want to be you."... etc. etc.

Oh, if they only knew how much fun we are having.  When I say this I do not want to give the impression that we have no troubles... we do have hard times... but they are so worth it... every struggle makes us more like Christ and that is what we need... it is what we want.

Psalm 127:3 tells us, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Children are a precious treasure and we are so thankful for ours!

Our children teach us patience and perseverance, cause us pain, bring us to tears and make us laugh.

Laugh.  We do this a lot... we did it tonight.  Sheila, Karina and Storey Grace are out with some cousins doing some shopping for Karina and the boys and I played in the mud, fixed a big supper and had a dance party.  Isaac was helping me prepare supper and he told me, "I am glad I do not have to live in the refrigerator."

"Why?" I asked.

"It's cold in there."

Noah took a bite of a lime tostido chip and said, "This is hot."

I told him that the chips were not hot.

"Well, it is either hot or disgusting." he replied.

"I do not think it is hot."

"Well, then it is disgusting." was his conclusion.

He did not eat anymore chips.

Boys.  Boys bring a lot of excitement to life.  When our boys wake up in the morning they have chores to do before they eat breakfast and then they go outside to play before school starts - we get the wiggles out before sitting for hours.  The other morning I told them it was time to come inside and found that one of them was playing with a frog, one of them was playing in mud and one was making a weapon and attempting to set something on fire.  Just another morning before 8:30AM.

Boys.  Forgive me for not updating you on Jay and Martha for a long time.  Many of you prayed for Jay and Martha.  After about ten weeks in Ukraine, they are home with their two boys.  Thanks for your prayers for them.  Please continue the prayers.

Martha is enjoying life with boys.  Here are some things she has learned about boys and some pictures:

Boys like to beat each other up.

Boys have lots of energy.

Boys will do interesting things with dolls or action figures.

"Found one way to burn off some energy: Walk 45 minutes to the Black Sea and then challenge the boys to JUMP over and over again while we get the perfect shot, which takes 25-30 attempts!  Then go into a restaurant for dessert and walk 45 minutes back to the apt!  Both boys took a long, hot shower afterwards because they were saturated with sea foam.  I even heard a faint "I'm tired" from David before he pounced on Sam for the umpteenth time.  A separate attempt to expand their horizons was taking them to the opera last night - BIG MISTAKE!  I got all kinds of whining and complaining and tantrums - and that was just from JAY!  NOT, repeat NOT a good place to burn off energy."

We miss Jay and Martha and pray that God blesses their family.

All of us want to make a difference... to impact this world in some way... what better way than to train a child in the ways of the LORD... to teach them how to live 24 hours a day... how to glorify God in all of life and not to put life into compartments... 

making an impact...

and having fun at the same time...

silly conversations plus watching your kids latest dance moves. 

(Isaac is dancing for me to Ukrainian music as I type). 

Since our last post, Karina has continued to study her English hard - 3-4 hours of English every day.  She is a great student.  I am falling behind her in my Russian studies but I can read the language now - by read I mean I can pronounce the Russian words on a page - not necessarily understand them.  She keeps telling me she is winning this contest.

Wednesday we met with our small discipleship group for the first time since before Thanksgiving.  It was so good to be with them again.  This group of people prayed so hard for us for months regarding this adoption and we love them.  Karina came to the group with us and met them.

Thursday Twin Lakes held a welcome party for Karina.  Twin Lakes Camp and Conference Center is the place I have served for the past 12 years.  It is one of the greatest places on earth with an incredible group of people to work with.  We had a great meal that the staff and many spouses prepared (Karina brought a Ukrainian salad she made) and then they showered her with gifts.  Thank you Twin Lakes for so lovingly welcoming our daughter!  Oh, and if anyone reading this blog needs a the perfect getaway for themselves or family... come visit us at Twin Lakes - www.twinlakescamp.org - we think the summer camp is the best in the world too!

Until last night (Friday), Karina had not been apart from at least one of us since she left the orphanage.  Last night I took Sheila on a date and a babysitter came to care for the kids (thanks, Kristi!).  Karina was nervous about this.  She wanted to know all the details...

"Where are you going?"

"Are you coming back?"

"When?"

"Who is going to be with us?"

She was a bit unsure of both of us leaving her and she gave us huge hugs before we walked out the door.

When we returned a few hours later she rushed at us and exclaimed...

"I missed you so much!"

She held onto us and talked with us until well after midnight.

She was assured that whenever we leave, we are going to come back home unless God keeps us away.

Saturday I took Karina and Storey Grace on a date.  

The three of us went to a Father/Daughter Brunch at Lakeland PCA along with our neighbor, Andrew and his daughter, Anna.

It was a joy to be with these precious daughters building memories and letting them know that they are important to me and to God.

The person from Wal-Mart does not envy me... but as Psalm 127 goes on to say in verse 5... I am a blessed man.

Blueberry Ice Cream

We have been home for one amazing week loving on all five of our children.

The day after we returned from Ukraine we ate lunch at El Cabrito - the closest Mexican restaurant to us and the place we practice our Spanish... but on this trip we really confused our waiter by mixing Russian with our Spanish... we have a few new words now like...

Graciaspasibo

CiDaYes...

We have been catching up on sleep, catching up on work and catching up on things we missed while in Ukraine...

like Christmas with relatives!

Friday night we gathered with grandmother and grandfather, uncles, aunts and cousins to eat, read God's word, sing Christmas carols and exchange gifts...

Karina's first Christmas in America...

It was wonderful to worship Sunday at FPC... one of the points Ligon made that struck me was how much God has done for us... how much grace he has given us... because of that grace we must give others much grace... we pray that God would help us reach out more to people with much grace.

Karina has started her English studies and is doing great.

I have started my Russian studies and... I am not doing so great.  We are having a contest to see who becomes fluent first.  We shall see... but I think she will beat me fairly easy.

Right now we are listening to Ukrainian music and eating blueberry ice cream.

We are doing well... have had a great first week... for those of you considering adopting... for those of you considering adopting an older child... come join the fun... join us in eating blueberry ice cream!

It is Beautiful

Last night the seven of us went on a walk. Karina kept looking up and on the way back to the house we passed a large grassy field. She walked over into the grass, laid down and just stared into the sky. Her brothers and sister immediatedly followed, laying in the grass all around her.

Sheila and I joined in.

After a few moments Karina said,
"It is beautiful...the moon... the stars....so beautiful...in Ukraine, in orphanage, I not see moon and stars."

We all layed in the grass for a while talking, tickling, giggling, being silly as usual.

This is day number four with Karina home.

What has life been like with her here?

It is beautiful.