A Conversation with My Dentist

This week, last December, Sheila and I were in Odessa, Ukraine finalizing all the details of adopting Karina.  It was such a joyous time and a blessing to get to know the other children hoping that a family would one day come for them.  We still pray for those children and look forward to seeing them again in a few weeks (we have space for you to join us on the trip - contact me if you want to help us minister to these precious children in January).
It is God's blessings on us and the fact that these children are still waiting in the orphanages and crying out for someone to care for them that compels us to tell their stories and ask people to care for them in their distress.
Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with my dentist.  My dentist has a small practice in a neighborhood in Jackson and I started going to him about 14 years ago because I lived next door to his office in a rough part of town (we regularly found drug paraphernalia tossed into our front yard).  I rented a house with four other men, most of us were seminary students, and the neighborhood was a great opportunity for us to put into practice what we learned in the classroom.  One of our windows faced the dentist office parking lot and we decided to set up a life size Luke Skywalker in the window to stare at anyone in the parking lot.  Later, my dentist told me he noticed that every time he went to his car, someone was staring at him.  After several days of wondering what was going on, he came up to the window and realized that, no, we were not as strange as he thought - we had not been spending all day, every day, staring at him.  It was just Luke.  Thus began a continuous stream of conversations with my dentist.
Yesterday he asked me to tell him something weird:  "All day people have been telling me the strangest things.  Weird things.  I wonder if you can top any of it."
I responded with, "I am not sure if you really want to hear some of the things I deal with."
We began a conversation that led him to asking how I was enjoying what I do now.
"I love what I am doing:  caring for orphans.... encouraging the church to reach out to orphans in mercy..."
He stopped.
He put his tools down.
He fixed his gaze on me.
Say that one more time.
"I love encouraging the church to reach out to orphans."
In shock he said, "Do you mean to tell me that you have to encourage Christians to do that?  To care for orphans?  I mean, the Bible... is it not plain about orphans and widows?  Isn't that what Christians should be known for... caring for orphans and widows?"

Before I left his office he told me, "Well, you won.  You told me the strangest thing I have heard all day."

Collecting Christmas Presents for Orphans

Getting ready for Christmas in an orphanage in Ukraine

We are collecting Christmas presents for some orphans in Ukraine.  If you are interested in sending presents to a child, please read the following letter from a friend of ours:

For the last several years I have been involved in ministry to orphan children in Ukraine and some of my friends have been ministering to children in many poor orphanages outside the city.  The children in these orphanages range in age from 7-18. 

The children come from many different situations.  Some have parents who have died, are in jail, have been involved in drugs or alcohol, or have abandoned them at some time in their lives.  No matter the reason that the children have been placed in the orphanage, life there is tough for all of them.  The children have the same schedule day after day, eating, sleeping, going to school, and having all their free time right at the orphanage.  Even holidays are spent in the orphanage and without much celebration.

This year, we have organized a Christmas Gift Project to provide a special Christmas gift for the children in these orphanages.  Many churches from here will be gathering gifts, but we also need help from you in the US.   The goal this year is to collect enough gifts so that each child in 16 orphanages will receive something special on the day when we remember the most wonderful gift ever given: the day when Jesus Christ our Savior was born.  Maybe you would be willing to help?

This project is open to churches, small groups or individuals.  We are looking for anyone willing to help.   If you are interested in learning more, I will include instructions about the project at the end of this letter.  For more information please contact Matthew at Nasekos@perumission.org.

Thank you for your consideration of this opportunity to be a blessing to the orphans of Ukraine!

Instructions:

If you or your church or small group is interested in sending Christmas gifts, please e-mail Matthew as soon as possible (Nasekos@perumission.org). Please let me know how many gifts you would like to send.  Then I will send you an email with information (age and gender) about one of the groups of kids.

 It’s up to you to decide how to divide up the needs and gather the gifts.  All gifts should be mailed directly to the address I will send you once you let me know that you are interested in sending gifts.  Packages usually take 2-4 weeks to arrive in Ukraine so all gifts should be mailed before Dec 1st.  In Ukraine, we celebrate Christmas on Jan 7^th so hopefully the gifts will arrive in time.

Gift Guidelines:

All gifts should fit inside a sealed quart size zip-lock bag and the cost of each gift should not exceed $10.  Each gift should include: 1 pair of socks, 1 type of candy, a Christmas card, and an extra item(s).  Some ideas are listed below but these are only suggestions and other items may be included as well.  Be creative and use your imagination J  The zip-lock may be sent wrapped or unwrapped (We will wrap unwrapped gifts so they will all be the same).  All gifts should be labeled with the age and gender.

Gift ideas:

any small toys, balls, cars, crayons, markers,  colored pencils, coloring books, hair things, lip gloss, jewelry, photo frame, photo album, keychains, yo-yo, legos, building games (k’nex, magnetic toys), small notebook, stickers, UNO card game, small puzzles, brain teaser games, small electronic games, watch, hat, gloves, scarf, calculator, flashlight, belt, comb, brush, small calendar, expanding washcloth, etc.    

Karina, last year in the orphanage painting Christmas balls.

                  

When Will I Have a Momma?

One of our missionaries that works with orphans sent the following edited message recently:

"A few days ago I was at the orphanage  and a little boy came running to give me a hug.  He wrapped his arms around my legs and looked up at me with his big brown eyes.  He wrinkled his eyebrows, showing a question in his eyes, and then he asked “When will I have a mama?  In the winter or in the spring?”  My heart was torn into pieces and I had no idea what to say.  Then he went on:  “ My friend was found.  When will someone find me?”    

What can I say to a small child whose deepest desire is to be found and wanted by a family?

I am no longer allowed to help with any communication between America and the kids in orphanage.  What can I say to K who asks me if he can write letters to his best friend who was adopted?    What can I say to V who doesn’t really have any friends in the orphanage, and almost cried when I told her she couldn’t write to Val anymore?  With a serious face, V told me,” It is such a tragedy to lose my best friend.”

What do I say when three orphanage graduate girls are sitting in my living room explaining to me that in the dorm there is one shower room for almost 1000 boys and girls living in the five story dormitory?   How do I respond when we are talking about being patient and waiting for God, and  they say they don’t expect anything from God anymore?

Sometimes it feels like the only response I can manage as I listen to these beautiful children in their desperate situations is tears.    How hard it is to know that these children don’t even have anyone to cry for them.  

 The following poem was written by Antwone Fisher, an orphan boy who grew up in the foster care system in the US.  His questions apply to orphans everywhere:

Who will cry for the little boy lost and all alone?

Who will cry for the little boy abandoned without his own?

Who will cry for the little boy who cries himself to sleep?

Who will cry for the little boy who never had for keeps?

Who will cry for the little boy who walked through burning sand?

Who will cry for the little boy, the boy inside the man?

Who will cry for the little boy who knew well hurt and pain?

Who will cry for the little boy who died and died again?

Who will cry for the little boy, a good boy he tried to be?

Who will cry for the little boy who cries inside of me?

-Antwone Fisher

Who should cry for the little boys and girls who are orphaned and alone in this world?    The answer is  both simple and complicated.  Who should care for orphans?  The church.  We are the church.  Is caring for orphans easy or pain free?  Not usually.

“As long as there is a church on planet earth, she (an orphan child) is not destitute.  If there is a church in the world named after Jesus Christ no orphan should be destitute.  Care for that child.  Do what you have to do to get there.”  -John Piper

Today I want to challenge you not only to be willing to cry for these children, but to intentionally and prayerfully consider if adoption might be something God has for your family.  Even if you have never thought about it before, if you are married and between the ages of 25-60, would you please ask God if there might be a child on the other side of the world waiting to call you mom or dad?  Maybe each time when you read about the plight of orphans you feel a tug deep inside you, maybe you are or soon will be an empty-nester with room in your heart and home for more children, or maybe you have watched others adopt and said to yourself “I could never do that”.  No matter where you are in life, would you please pray and consider adoption?  If you are not in a position to adopt a child,  please pray and consider ways you could assist a family who wants to adopt.

I will be praying for you too, that God would make His will clear to you whatever that may be.  Thank you for your prayers for the orphans of Ukraine and for me.  I really appreciate all of the encouraging emails and prayers as things remain difficult.

Waiting with you for God’s answer to our prayers..."

I join with our missionary...

Karina, once an orphan, joins with this missionary to ask you to consider what God would have you do for the orphans...

Will you adopt?  My family would love to help you.

Can you financially support a family that is adopting?  Our mission agency, Christian Missionary Society, can help you with that.

Will you pray for the orphans?  I can give you names, pictures and prayer requests.

Are you interested in coming with us to see these children?  I will be with them soon.  Join me.

Are you able to support the Nasekos family or our other missionaries working with orphans?  We can only continue by your support.  

Contact me if you want to take that next step toward caring for the children that ask, "When will I have a momma?"

Nasekos@perumission.org

Sitting in the Window

God blessed us, while in Ukraine, with other American families that were in the same city adopting at the same time.  One of them recently left this comment for us and I wanted to share it with you as a reminder that the children are waiting for a mom and dad...
sitting in the window...

"I'll never forget the day I came late to visit, after dark, and saw Karina's friend Sasha sitting alone at this very window in the dark. Literally dark. There were no lights on. You know how it is near the front door. It was the day after Karina left. I felt so sorry for her. Time heals hurts and I think she is doing OK now. But we know that time is running out for the older kids to be adopted."

"The Orphans Never Have a Day Like This"

Karina weeped on my shoulder tonight...
not because someone had hurt her...
"this is so much fun"...
not because she had a bad day...
"It was one of the best day's of my life"...
she was weeping because she was thinking of the children she grew up with... the orphans that do not have a mom or dad... the orphans that are sitting in orphanages all around the world crying out "why doesn't anyone want me?"

A friend stopped by the house today and handed me a large stack of tickets for rides at the Mississippi State Fair.  He said, "I want you to have these... go have some fun with the family."
So this afternoon all of us piled in the van and went to the fair.
It was Karina's first time to the fair... any fair.

Now the rest of our kids have been to the fair but today was different.  It was different because, in the past, a typical fair day for us looks like this:
go during lunch so parking and entrance is free... don't ride any rides... instead go to the free petting zoo and look at all the animals... walk around... leave the fair.
Before the fair started this year one of our kids asked, "Dad, can we actually ride a ride this year instead of just doing the free stuff?"
I told him, "We'll see."

Well our friend, Sam, changed that today.  Thanks for the tickets, Sam!

With a large stack of tickets the kids were able to ride many rides... all of them had a blast... Storey Grace, Noah, Isaac, Harrison and Karina.

We spent a while in the kiddie section and then Karina wanted to go ride the big rides.  We all rode the ferris wheel together and ate caramel apples.  Isaac saw a booth where someone tries to guess your weight and he wanted to try it... the guess was wrong and he got a giant sword... Harrison tried and won a sword... Noah tried it and won a dolphin... even Storey Grace tried it and won a puppy.... Karina said she did not want anyone trying to guess her weight.

We spent hours enjoying each others company, talking with people and riding the rides.
All the kids faces were lit up with excitement.... Karina's expression had something else in it...
she talked about it when we were home:
"This day was so wonderful.  I was with my family all day.  We were together having fun.  Today I did things that I have never done... and I did them with my family.  Orphans never have days like this.  Daddy, my friends in Ukraine have never known a day like this.  Will they ever know a day like this?  Today was the best day... I am so happy and so sad..."
She weeped for the children around the world that are sitting in orphanages...
she weeped for the children who never spend a day with their mommy and daddy...
she weeped for the children that have never been to the fair, holding their sisters hand, eating a candy apple, riding the ferris wheel...
she weeped for her friends who, instead of a day like Karina had, are beaten, abused, forgotten, scared, wondering if anyone will ever come for them, sleeping on the streets, hiding in the sewers...

she weeped for her classmates that, one by one, on Karina's last day at the orphanage said, "Karina, do not forget me!  Tell people I am here!  Please find me a mommy and a daddy!  Tell them I am real!  Tell them I will be good!  Tell me I want them... and ask if they want me... I will be waiting for them... I will be watching out the bar covered window to see if they are coming to get me."

The orphans do look out the window.  We see their eyes peering out every time we visit.
They are waiting for you to come get them...
And to give an orphan a day like they have never had.

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